i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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