Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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