is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my poor anus
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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