like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
