Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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