He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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