He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
