She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
