I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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