Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Welp...herpes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
