she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
