Life is so much better after having sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
