After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
