i would punch a child for taco bell
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
