I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
