I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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