One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize