She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
