i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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