that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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