The maid of honor just puked.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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