SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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