she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize