Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
