After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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