I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
