So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
