My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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