I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
