would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
