Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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