I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
