no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
