I wanna bring you to show and tell
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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