best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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