Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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