MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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