i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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