Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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