Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize