everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
