the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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