unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
