I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week