I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
