dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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