.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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