Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
