my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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