I didn't shave. On purpose
now i know why i became what i already was.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
