Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
