just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
