mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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