If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
where are my eyebrows?
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