Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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