I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
